Life in the Circus

slip covers!

2011-08-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

This is my before picture! I have had these chairs for about 18 years! They are a great shape. A simple classic club chair but the the dark green is sooo over! I have been following Miss Mustard Seed's Blog for some time. She has a tutorial for slip covers. I watched each segment several times and thought I could do it. Her blog is on my side bar if you would like to check out her blog and or her tutorials. I was going to use drop clothes for my slip covers but couldn't find the shade I wanted. for some reason they were all very gray and I wanted an oatmeal color. Wal-Mart actually had what I needed at only 5.99 a yard! Woo hooo! Each chair cost me about 60.00$ That my friends is a bargain! I love the chairs. I think they look awesome!

Micah goes to college with a new quilt

2011-06-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

Micah is leaving for BYU's summer term tomorrow. Luckily I finished his quilt today!

Quilt retreat

2011-04-03T12:48:00.000-07:00

If you have ever read the Elm Creek Quilters books you probably have dreamed of going to Elm Creek quilt camps. Unfortunately Elm Creek is fiction BUT there is a retreat that you can do! My friend Krista Chadwick runs a fabulous quilt retreat called Red Dirt Retreats. Check out her web site at http://www.reddirtretreats.com/ . I got to teach a class at her latest time out for you retreat. So fun!!!! This is the beautiful Canyonlands lodge. The views are beautiful what a fabulous place to have a retreat.

Our Hostess Krista Chadwick(left) She cooked amazing meals all weekend. The Quilt I taught is the off set coin that I recently made. I was amazed at all of the amazing quilts that were created.

All of these ladies are amazing quilters. Thanks for letting me a part of an amazing weekend!

Finished!

2011-03-12T21:13:00.000-08:00

I finished the off set coin quilt. It was made using Kate Spains Central Park line! I love it. So warm and sunny. It reminds me of a summer day.

I machine quilted it with a straight stitch. I love the texture it gives the quilt. You can really see it on the back of the quilt.

Monday was my birthday and as a gift to myself I had a sew in! I made this cute little number and watched my favorite move - Pride and Prejudice- All 5 Hours! Colin Firth is my favorite Mr Darcy.

I love my new bag. It is big , and has plenty of room for all of my stuff, plus it is cute!

I need a new bag

2011-02-13T07:24:00.000-08:00

I love purses, bags what ever you call it. I love them. I have a collection of different ones. My daughters roll their eyes every time I come home with a new one and sigh "another purse?" They are able to say those two little word with such meaning. The meaning being -you need help.

In spite of all the purses I have I went looking to change out my bag to something different and discovered that I all my bags are too small. They don't hold all the crap I need. I didn't change out my bag and thought I guess I need a new bag.

I was on my way to the fabric store to buy binding for my quilt. At the fabric store i found the cutest fabric and pattern for a bag!!!!! So soon I will have a new bag!

Isn't it cute!

Love notes

2011-01-25T12:36:00.000-08:00

I love Valentines Day! I love giving valentines to all of my kids but I also like encouraging them to also give a little valantine treat to each member of our family. I whipped up this little quilt to help us do just that. Each family member has a fabric envelope on the quilt. They are roomy enough to hold cards and small treats.

I linked up to the CSI project. Click the link below to see all of the great valentines projects

coin quilt

2011-01-21T16:48:00.001-08:00

We have been having a ton of cold gray days. I need some real sunshine!
The next best thing is my new coin quilt.

I am absolutly loving Kate Spains new line Central Park. The colors are so pretty and bright.
Two charm packs and some Bella solid White and we have a quilt. I am so excited to get this one finished but I just didn't want to wait to show it off!

Weightloss Wednesday

2011-01-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

So I am a little late on this post.

We have moved Gyms. We used to go to Golds. It was a nice gym had great classes, friendly staff and lots of skinny people getting very fit.

The problem was who in the family could use a family pass. You have to be 14 to work out and there is nothing there except babysitting for the under 9 set. Clarissa wants to start training for a triathlon and to go to the gym. So we switched to The Kaysville Sportsplex. To me it is everything I was looking for. There are programs for everyone. It is more like a rec center. So on Monday -Thursday from 4-6 they have a sports program for kids. They can stay as long as they like. Lydia loved it! The day she went they had the kids playing basketball. Clarissa and I hit the treadmills while she played! Perfect!

Today I had a session with a personal trainer. It was awesome. He really worked me out hard! We talked about nutrition, and stuff it was very helpful!

I need to weigh in and give an update. I am feeling good about my eating and working out!

Weight loss Wednesday

2011-01-06T09:15:00.000-08:00

Weight loss wednesday quickly became science fair wednesday as I helped Clarrissa with her project most of the night. So here is a quick update. So far I am getting in my exercise. I'm running and doing the eliptical. I plan to try and swim once a week, starting this week. I am hoping to improve my swim time just a bit in next summers tri. Swimming is a strength for me so I think it's a good place to trim some time.

My starting weight for this year is 185. I am 5 feet 4 . Not that tall so this is really heavy. I have done well wioth my diet so far. Sugar free baby! I will update more next week.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T11:50:00.000-08:00

I am going to try and use my blog this year to keep me honest. Every year I make resolutions for the new year. Goals I hope to keep. They are well thought out, written down and then promptly put some place never to be seen again. I often write them in my journal but then through the year I hardly ever look at them again. I am hoping by making them more public I can actually accomplish my goals.

Really they are good and worthy goals, worth accomplishing.

Each year I make goals around the scripture Luke 2: 52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. So I have four areas that I make goals in.

Wisdom- I am doing to read 25 books this year. Not all will help me gain wisdom but all will help me use my mind.

Stature- I’ve committed to exercising at least 4 days a week. I do have plans to do the Layton Triathlon again this summer. I have also committed to going on a low sugar diet. I haven’t gotten a handle on my weight and it’s time. My triglycerides are high and my blood sugar although not at diabetes levels is higher than it should be. I have committed to be low sugar for the next year. For me I will use Jorge Cruises guidelines on the Belly Fat cure. We will see if it helps.

In favor with God- I plan to read the book of Mormon this year as well as attend institute( which is not hard because it is truly the best part of my week). I am also working on Personal progress and plan to finish it this year.

In Favor with man- These are social goals and many who know me know I’m a pretty social gal. But my goal this year for this area of my life is to serve more, to look for opportunities to help others to open my heart to others.

So here is where you come in. Not that anyone reads my blog, but I am hoping that by putting this all out there I will be a bit more committed. I am going to start posting on my blog about my goals and how I am doing. Wednesday are now going to be Weight loss Wednesdays. I plan to report back each Wed. As I finish a book I will give a review of said book. Really just look for my posts to be about my goals and an occasional quilt. I have several that I would like to work on this year.
Thanks for joining me on a journey of accomplishment. Comments are always welcome.
Happy New Year!

A Labor of Love

2010-12-25T17:10:00.001-08:00

About the begining of November the kids started putting their Christmas wish lists together. Lydia decided she wanted a Camera. then The Toys R us Toy catalog came out and she saw a Barbie Doll House. The poor girl really wanted a camera but now she also really wanted a doll house for her Barbies. The next question was could Santa bring both? Um.... no that is out of Santas budget.

Mariah and Clarissa then hatched a plan. Lets make one for her. I stupidly agreed. I am now glad but I spent all of December on this doll house. I built, sewed and painted. They did about 10 % and I did 90%. But in the end it is fabulous and she now has a wood dollhouse that will last a long time.... maybe for grandchildre....?

Clarissa really wanted her to have a gift under the tree so she wrapped up a note. When she unwrapped it we directed her to the doll house hidden in the other room.

She has spent the whole day taking pictures with her camera and playing with her dolll house. Gi Joe even made a visit.

Festival of Trees

2010-10-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

I recently volunteered to be on a Festival of Trees Committee. Each volunteer is asked to make 8 items for the gift shop. These are two of my items. What do you think?

Fabric Love!

2010-09-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

Isn't this fabric beautiful.. I saw it and knew I had to have it! Then the question became what do I do with it?

The newest Quiltmaker magazine had this quilt on the cover. I was instantly intrigued with the secondary pattern and the way it seems to curve. I got out my pencil and my paper and started to play with the triangles.

I'm pretty sure I know what pattern I'm going to do. Stay tuned for the finished product!

the great spring break makeover is done....

2010-04-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

Almost!

I have a few pillows to sew and some decoration to do. But generally it's done and the rest will be finished over the next few weeks.

The biggest project was my new TV unit.

Did I mention that I built it!!! All by myself! I got the plans from the blog Knockoffwood. I suggest you go over and have a look at her designs. Then I saw a post on the blog shanty2chic where she outlined everything that she did to build the same unit. Hers has more parts. Reading Shanty2chic blog gave me great confidence. So on day one I headed over to home depot with a diagram of how I wanted my first sheet of MDF cut. I used all MDF except for the trim pieces. The HD worker Stefan did a great job cutting my pieces he was very meticulous! Which I appreciated because it's really important for the boards to be cut square! If you go to the Layton Home Depot ask for Stefan.

Then the work began. I used Decking screws, and lots of gorilla glue! to hold everything together.

I have one tip that could make things easier and that would be to borrow a couple of drills so that you don't have to keep changing out your bits. You will need a countersink, screwdriver and drill bit that is slightly smaller than your screws. Three drills would be perfect.

Countersinking your screws are very important for a nice finished look. There is a how to tutorial on knockoffwood. I suggest you watch it before you try putting your pieces together.

After all the pieces were assembled I puttied all of the screw holes with wood filler. I am a great believer in caulk. Caulk gives a nice finished look to everything. I caulked all of the seams, sanded and got ready to paint.

I found just the finish I wanted at TheFrugaldesigner blog. She had a tutorial on doing a rubbed white finish with a turquoise underlayment. I liked the playfull but not over done finish and went to work. I used a tinted primer, sanded, two coats of turquois color and then 3 coats of white.

The last step was to gently sand away some of the white so the blue shows through. You sand areas that would naturally show wear. It's subtle But I am happy with it!

Did I mention I did it MYSELF!!!!

the basment before

after

The color on the walls is certainly celery. I took a piece of stampin ups certainly celery paper and had it color matched. It's perfect. Light , bright and perfect for a kid friendly space that I'm hoping the basement becomes.

A smaller but fun project was putting a seat in a nook that we have. No plans I just made it as I went along. First I made a 2x4 box for the frame. Set it into the nook area and attached it to the wall. Then I took 3/4 MDF and covered the front and top. Caulked, filled holes, sanded and painted!!

More pictures comming soon.

the great spring break basement redo

2010-04-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

is in full swing!!

I love Pottery Barn Kids. I drool over every cataloge they send me. Unfortunatly I can't afford their stuff. So whem I found the blog - knock off wood- I was in heaven. Ana has put up simplified plans for all kinds of look a like stuff. If you have the guys at Home Depot or Lowes do the wood cutting all you need is a drill ( two would be easier) and a hammer! I have been making the Cameron wall system!

Here is a sneak peak.

Valentine Treats

2010-03-04T09:10:00.001-08:00

I made this cute pillow

And this cute little wall hanging for Valentines Day

The flowers are all

needle turned applique!

I must be in a flower phase,

my next project is also involving flowers.

Stay tuned!

let your self go

2010-01-07T08:06:00.000-08:00

I love to sit and read the Sunday Paper. It's even better if I get to do it with my pj's, fuzzy slippers and a warm cup of herbal orange tea. I always start with the funnies and then systematically go through each section. Last week in the opinion section one columnist talked about her retirement after 47 years as a journalist. She mentioned "letting herself Go" but not in the terms we normally think of when we say " wow she really let herself go" meaning whats up with the unkempt hair, the expanding waist line and the pajama pants at the grocery store. She meant letting go and imagining the possibilities that are open to her. I began to think about what it means to let your self go. What would I do, or accomplish if I was willing to let myself go? What fears would I let go of? What possibilities might I begin to see? How might I view life differently? Would I go back to school? Would I quilt more? Would I start a business? Open my own bookstore? What possibilities might you discover if YOU "let yourself go"?

6 lessons I learned from my mom

2009-12-28T18:04:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I heard a talk given in church that included 10 things that the speaker had learned from his mother. I started thinking about the lessons that I learned from my mother at first I couldn't think of any. Slowly I began to realize some of the lessons I learned from her and thus is the list that follows.

1. Hard work is part of life.
As a kid we all worked hard. We all had chores. We had a huge and I do mean huge garden. It all started in May with tilling and getting the soil ready. Then it was time to plant, weed and then harvest and of course after harvesting we canned! It seems like there was always work to be done outside. I hated it! I always tried to get out of the outdoor work by offering to do the house cleaning.

2. A can do attitude will help you throughout your life.
My mom was a high school dropout at the age of 16. She worked hard at many different jobs through out her life. When I was about 10, she decided to get her GED. She passed and got her diploma. Not only did she pass but she did really well getting a top score. At that point she realized that she wasn't stupid and that dyslexia would no longer hold her back. School wasn't easy for her but she persisted with a desire to gain education and make her life better. After her GED success she enrolled in a program through the state of Maine to get her LPN certification. Then she continued schooling until she got her RN and then a Masters in Nursing. School became a very important part of her life.

3.Hobbies are an important part of enjoying life.
My mom was an artist. She loved to paint. She wasn't able to paint as much as she would have liked as a younger women. She became more prolific in her later years. She adorned her home with her art. I gained an appreciation for finding that creative outlet that gives you joy and makes you feel alive.

4. I learned from my mother that I will not crumble, that strength is something you choose.
I live with pre-teen and teen girls I have heard way more than my share of Milley Cyrus. I must admit I love her song I learned from you. It reminds me of mom. My mom was strong. She had a hard and difficult life. Life was full of challenges and she met each one with determination and grace. Mom taught me that you keep moving, you get up everyday and you do what is expected and necessary.

5. Care for others.
My mom was always taking in strays. If you didn't have a place to go moms door was always open. She was always taking people under her wing, befriending and helping in any way she could. It was who she was. She nurtured and loved others.

6. You are never to old to change.
My mom was almost 30 when she got her GED and went back to school. Many would have thought she was too old. She changed her life again when she joined the LDS church at the age of 37. At the age of 41 she finally quit smoking for good.

At the very young age of 54 my mother passed away. She will forever be missed but she is a part of all who knew her and learned from her!

Challenge Dairy Shortbread Challenge Part Two

2009-12-13T15:35:00.001-08:00

I thought I would try another recipe for the Challenge Dairy contest. You can view their website at www.challengedairy.com and the contest at www.sophistimom.com

Butterscotch Shortbread

The ingredients:
1 cup of softened unsalted butter
2/3 cup of sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups of flour
2/3 c of butterscotch chips for the shortbread
1/2 c chocolate chips and 1/2 c butterscotch chips for the frosting

Cream butter,sugar and salt till light and fluffy. Add flour and mix.

Add chopped butterscotch chips to dough.

prepare a 8x11.5 pan with parchment paper

pat dough into pan and bake at 300 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes or until the edges are golden. Cool 15 min and carefully place on cooling rack. Cut into squares while still warm. While the cookies are cooling place the chips for the frosting (1/2 cup chocolate and 1/2 cup butterscotch) in microwave safe bowl. Microwave on high 1 minute. Stir till completely melted. Frost cookies with the melted chocolate mixture allow chocolate to cool and harden.
Enjoy!

Chocolate Peppermint Shortbread

2009-12-05T16:10:00.000-08:00

I love food Blogs! I just came across , an awesome blog about cooking, reading and being a mom. You can check it out here- http://www.sophistimom.com/ On her blog she and

challenge butter, (you can find them here- http://www.challengedairy.com/ ) challenged her readers to come up with a variation on shortbread. Looked like fun so here is my Peppermint Chocolate Shortbread! Enjoy

1 Cup Non Salted Butter softened

2/3 C Sugar

3/4 tsp Salt

2 C all purpose flour

1-2 tsp Peppermint extract.

5 squares of Semi Sweet Chocolate

Crushed red and white candy canes

Preheat oven to 300

Cream butter with mixer, add sugar until light and fluffy. Add mint extract. I like mine really minty so I use two tsp of extract. Add salt and flour and mix. Line a 9 inch cake pan with parchment, press dough into the pan. smooth the top and cut into 12 equal slices. Bake at 300 degrees for 20-25 min. The cookies should be just golden brown. Be careful not to over cook.

Allow to cool. Melt chocolate according to package directions in a microwavable bowl. Dip cooled shortbread in chocolate and then sprinkle crushed candy canes on top. Set on parchment paper to harden.

Enjoy!!

it's the climb

2009-11-04T20:31:00.000-08:00

Monday While driving to the oncologist office Troy made the comment that this has been a long road. It has, but the thought came to me that it's been more like a climb or a hike up a mountain.We started out with a pretty steep incline as we did the first 9 weeks of chemo. We had a break where we were able to rest and enjoy life. Like a walk through a beautiful meadow, a respite in our climb. We were able to look around and feel the sun on our faces, see the wildflowers, the beauty of the trees. Next came surgery, once again we are climbing. Some days are steeper than others but we still have an appreciation for all that is beautiful around us.

We have had so many people serve us in so many amazing ways. Sometimes the extreme thoughtfulness of the act of service reminds me of how much Heavenly Father knows us and what are needs are. Truly so many have been his hands. We also have been the beneficiaries of countless prayers and fasting and we feel the sustaining power that is prayer. It is the beauty we get to view as we climb.

Now we are on our final trudge up the hill, as we move forward we can see the end of the trail. We know that around the final bend we will be able to see the view at the top. We know it's worth the hike.

At the top of our journey through cancer is the hope of being cancer free and being able to sit and enjoy the view.

Quick Update

2009-09-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

Troy is finished with his radiation. It was not fun. The dr made it sound like it wouldn't be so bad then when it was he said " yeah skinny men tend to have a hard time". Yeah we know.
He starts chemo in two weeks. Then he will do that for 9 weeks and we will be done.

a few of my favorite things

2009-08-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

reading on the hammock

Toothless grins

Cute Aprons

fresh homegrown tomatoes

the view from my kitchen window

the view from my front door

My garden

Family

recovery and the next step

2009-08-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

Troy has had a great recovery from surgery. He is really doing well. He can eat pretty much anything he wants. It is best to avoid stuff that has too much fiber and has too much sugar. So far mashed potatoes and gravy is his favorite. He is adapting and feeling good. He has lost some more weight and seems to have stabilized at 155. It is where he will probably stay. He needs new clothes.

Next up is radiation with some chemo. Starting tomorrow Monday the 10th, he will have 4 days of chemo with radiation and then 4 weeks of just radiation.

So when he gets his radiation he has to be in the same position each time. To make sure that happens he was put on a big blue bean bag. The bag is full of air and small pellets. Slowly the attendant lets out the air and shapes the beans around his body, making a cast of his body. Once all the air is out the bean bag is as hard as a rock and in the shape of his body. He will lie in the cast each time they give him radiation.

He also is now sporting three tattoos. Little dots, the Dr said he couldn't do stars. After radiation they will give him a two week rest and the awful 9 weeks of chemo will start. WE figure he will be done about Thanksgiving. We are all looking forward to that day. Maybe we'll have a party! Everyones invited!

Surgery

2009-07-12T09:52:00.002-07:00

We arrived at the Huntsman Center at 11:15 by 11:30 we were in a pre-op room. Troy was getting poked and prodded for surgery. By 1:35 we said our goodbyes and the wheeled Troy into the operating room. At 2:30 the OR nurse called the desk in the waiting room to let us ( Troys mom and Dad were there too) know that things were underway.

There were several other families in the waiting room. We made the acquantence of Walenen Flannigan from Montana. Her husband was in surgery for a cancerous jaw. His surgery included grafting of bones and skin to remake the jaw they were removiing. People come from all over the west, to the Huntsman for cancer care. We feel fortunate that it is so close to us.

Every couple of hours the Or nurse would call and give a small update. The operation was supposed to last about 4-6 hours. We were wrong. At one point we hadn't heard from the Or nurse in several hours and were starting to get worried. Everyone else had left the waiting room. We were all alone. No nurses, no volunteers, no one. It felt very odd. Finally we got a call. They had taken his whole stomach and now were going to start working on the esophagus. It had at this point already been 6 hours. They had to go through his side to get to the esophagus. It was the scenario that the surgeon wanted to do.

By going through his side they broke a rib and had to deflate his lung. At about 11:30 the nurse called. They were almostdone. We waited for another hour for the DR to come out. She was positive they got all the cancer. The net day we got to talk to the DR more extensively about what happened in the surgery.

The cancer had gone through the walls of the stomach. They could see it when they first went in. They looked extensively for any matasis any where. They couldn't find any so they proceded with the surgery. The extensive amount of cancer is why the had to take his whole stomach. The good news is the cancer is gone! One more step in our journey is completed.

Redwoods part two

2009-07-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

Along the Avenue of Giants are old kitchy places like this one. for 4 dollars you can drive your car through a tree!

One amazingly huge tree. Unfortunatly it fell a couple of years ago.

The Avenue of Giants, Humblodt State Park.

Trinidad Memorial Lighthouse

The Redwoods Part 1

2009-06-30T23:01:00.001-07:00

I have always wanted to see the Redwoods. Troy and I decided for our 20th anniversary and before his surgery to take a small trip.

This is in the State Park that is also part of the National Park. It is part of the Prairie Creek Trail. We hiked for 6 miles! It was about two miles too long but the scenery was incredible. We were amazed that there were so few visitors to the park. We saw very few people on the trail. It was incredible to walk among those huge trees in the silence of the forest.

We actually stayed on the coast in the small town of Trinidad. This was an early morning hike that we did in Trinidad at Patrick's Point State Park.

The view from our incredible Bed and Breakfast, The turtle Rock Inn. There is a den of sea lions that live on the beach and sun themselves on the rocks near our inn. It was really fun to look out our windows and see them out there.

The marvelous Turtle Rock Inn. If your going to Northern California this is an awesome place to stay.

Kelly Ann Studio: Giveaway Tuesday~ 1 5x7 Heart pages from Kelly Ann Studio

2009-06-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

Kelly Ann Studio: Giveaway Tuesday~ 1 5x7 Heart pages from Kelly Ann Studio You need to see this awesome photo

Crafting with the Girls

2009-06-18T13:21:00.000-07:00

Mariah needed to make something for her secret sister at Girls camp, so we headed to Ben Franklin for inspiration. We had no idea what to make. We found these cute unfinished boxes. As we were getting paint, paper and other goodies Clarissa and I decided that we needed to make one too. They turned out so cute!

Here is Mariah's for her secret sister

This one is mine, I made it for a friend and filled it with handmade cards that match.

This is the one that Clarissa made for her friends birthday! She is going to fill it up with candy.

mourning with those who mourn

2009-05-22T13:14:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, during sacrament meeting, the High Council speaker gave a sermon on service. It's a topic that I've been considering a lot. We have been recipients of lots of acts of service over the last 8 weeks. We have had meals brought to us. People have sent up numerous prayers, and have fasted in our behalf. We have received many plates of goodies. (much to the delight of my children) The youth came and weeded our garden. A neighbor saw me struggling with putting up our new tramp and came over to help. Our next door neighbor who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer a week after Troys diagnosis looked up the ribbon colors for esophagus cancer and stomach cancer and made me a beautiful bracelet with those color beads. The colors if you are interested are periwinkle and light periwinkle. It was one of the most touching acts of service we have received. The list goes on. We recognize the love that is offered to us in each and every act of service.

In Mosiah 18 we are told to "mourn with those who mourn" and "comfort those in need of comfort" . It is easier to serve than to be served. Some of the service that has come our way has been hard to accept. It is hard to let your friends come in and clean your house. I was profoundly grateful. But also slightly embarrassed that I couldn't tend to all that needs to be done. I know I need help, but sometimes pride gets in the way. I have to remind myself that I am not super women. I've begun to wonder that as often as we are commanded to serve one another why we are so loath to let others serve us. Maybe we need a sermon about letting others serve us. Are we thwarting God's plan when keep to ourselves the trials we are going through. Do we deny ourselves the blessings that Heavenly Father would like to bless us with when we deny others the opportunity to fulfill God's commandment to love and serve each other. I wonder if part of the lesson of this trial is to learn to allow others to serve. To put away my pride and accept that I can't do it all and that Heavenly Father never intended for me to do it all by myself. Maybe it is part of learning to be humble. I have a long way to go. I'm still embarressed that my two sweet friends came and cleaned the boys bathroom, but I'm also gratefull for the amazing love that they have offered me!

Lettered Cottage giveaway

2009-05-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite decorating blogs is having a giveaway. The Lettered Cottage is worth a look even with out the giveaway! http://theletteredcottage.blogspot.com/2009/05/hudson-goods-giveaway.html They are giving a wool pillow from Hudson Goods. Look how cute this one is! Check them out at hudsongoods.com

Pray not to miss the lesson

2009-05-09T07:51:00.000-07:00

"Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation"
Brigham Young

I had the privilege of going to Women's Conference at BYU last week. My mother and father in law took over for me at home. They did it all from running kids to lessons, Dr appointments and cooking dinner. I am eternally grateful for all that they did to allow me the privilege of going away and being spiritually fed for several days.

Of course all the classes were excellent and worthwhile but I find myself reflecting on one. The presenter was Colleen Terry and the topic was The Atonement and Personal Revelation. She was very insightful and much of what she said really spoke to me and the situation that we in our family are currently dealing with. She talked about her own dealings with Lymphoma of the neck. To be treated with radiation you have to be perfectly still and in proper position. They make a wire mesh mask of your face and then when you lie down on the table, the mask is put on you and you are bolted to the table. You are then ready to receive treatment. One day as she entered the treatment room, she noticed that her mask was not on the table. The attendant opened a cupboard and there was her mask with her name on it among several other masks. She couldn't borrow a mask. Her mask had to fit her perfectly. It had to be her mask They got out hers and proceeded. The lesson was the individuality of the mask and thus the individuality of each of our trials. Elder Neal A Maxwell said this about our challenges...

"I believe with all my heart that because God loves us there are some particularized challenges that he will deliver to each of us. He will customize the curriculum for each of us in order to teach us the things we most need to know. He will set before us in life what we need; not always what we like. And this will require us to accept with all our hearts the truth that there is divine design in each of our lives and that we have a rendezvous to keep, individually and collectively."

My trial is my individual curriculum. It's what I need to become the person I want to become. To become a person worthy of exaltation. I realized that we can embrace our trials knowing that they are the refiners fire and that all must pass through their own fire. At the end of the presentation my friend turned to me and said "well that one was for you". You know it felt like it was it was all the things I needed to hear. I have thought about her statement and I wonder if she might have missed something that will help her in the future. She isn't currently going through a large crisis but she will, we all do. Hers will be different from mine but it will be hard and challenging nonetheless.

Another thought that was presented that really made a difference to me was the idea to pray not to miss the lesson. I think that goes with embracing the challenge. I really do want to learn what the Lord would like me to learn. Is it more patience, greater charity, service or maybe greater compassion for the suffering of others? I'm sure the list could go on. I hope and pray with all my heart that I will learn the lesson that is encapsulated in my challenge.

Released

2009-04-23T20:17:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I was Released from my service as Relief Society President. I knew it was coming, I needed it to happen, I had been Relief Society President for 3 years almost to the day. And yet when they said the words in sacrament meeting. I began to cry. I cried through the whole meeting. Then I had to bear my testimony in RS and cried again. I was surprised by it, because I thought I was ready for it. The truth is I have a great love for every sister in my ward. I have been so blessed by serving these amazing women. I have been blessed to get to know sisters that I never would have gotten to know well. The three women in my presidency have become like sisters to me. I know I could call on them for anything! I have truly been blessed. I will miss every opportunity I had to love and serve. So now as I type the words I have been released I cry.

Tales from the infusion room

2009-04-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

Troy was dehydrated so we took him in and they infused him with a sugar water combo. While there I met this lovely women being treated for non Hodgkins lymphoma. As we talked she was eating cookies. She told me that she was excited to eat anything she wanted right now. She gleefully recounted how she had lost 58 lbs and had always struggled with her weight! What a way to look at it! This must be the silver lining!

Here I made you cookies

2009-04-18T17:31:00.000-07:00

Women nurture with food. We are all about visiting and bringing food with us. Since Troys diagnosis we have had so many cookies, cinnamon rolls, bread, ect... brought over. The kids are in heaven. They love it and we appreciate the love that is behind each gift. The other day I had to explain to my six year old's friends mom why I could not invite her daughter over ( Troy has low white blood cells) I was trying to keep it light and matter of fact. I took Lydia over to the house to play with her friend. The mom who is so sweet, came running out and thrust aplate of cookies in my hands. " I made you cookies, I'm so sorry about what you are going through" It really made my day because not only did it make me laugh but it was one more person who said that they will pray for us, and who went out of their way to show love to us. I am gratefull for all of the love and prayers that we are recieving!

How are you

2009-04-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

Really I have no idea. I am constantly asked "How are you"
Me- Were good?
Them - No how are you
Me- Me? I don't know? I simply don't have time to think about me and how I feel . On Sunday someone asked me this and I started to cry. I really don't know. I'm so wrapped up emotionally in what is happening to Troy that I havn't stopped long enough to give some serious thought to how these things are affecting me. I'm not sure I want too.

Today during Troys Chemo we met a sweet couple. They were probably in their early 50's really not that old, maybe even younger. SHe came over to us and introduced her self and her husband. He has squamous cell carcinoma in the tongue. He has endured surgery, radiation and chemo and now the cancer is in his lungs. I felt so sad for her. Once it has metasisized like that it's the start of the end. As we left the infusion room, Troy simple said "he's dying" My heart just sunk. That poor family. Their youngest is 14. She was so serene as she talked about mortal life being full of trials, and the importance of relying on the lord. She told us that she and her husband think of it as their journey that they are on. She is an inspiration.

Clarity

2009-04-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

When we first got the cancer diagnosis our lives became very chaotic and cluttered with the unknown, with fear, and with speculation for the future. It took a while for our heads to clear. Clarity comes slowly. Slowly we learned what we were dealing with. After a CT scan and a PET scan we learned that the cancer is only in the esophagus and the stomach. Very good news. Then we visited with the oncologist. More clarity and now we have a plan. We know that we are going to do 9 weeks of Chemo and then surgery and then more chemo. I feel more at peace as we know what we are dealing with in terms of the cancer and what we plan to do so that Troy can live a long life.

The day my life stood still

2009-03-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

On March 16th my world changed. Troy had been losing weight. Lots of it. It was driving me crazy because I was sure it was his thyroid. About a month before he went to the DR he started having problems with food getting stuck in his esophagus. It only happened a few times but it was a scary experience. It was what drove him to see the Dr., even though I had been nagging him about it for some time. We all thought it was a simply stricture, a common throat ailment. Easily fixed. Troy was scheduled for a scope. As he was waking up from the scope the DR walked in and walked straight to Troy. I sat in a chair out of his view. He touched Troy's arm and delivered the words I will never forget. We found a tumor. We knew this was a possibility. We know how to google. When you google weight loss and difficulty swallowing, only one thing comes up. Esophagus cancer. I lost it. Troy being too smart for his own good knew all of the odds. My friends it was not good. Most people who get this cancer don't know they have it until it's too late. Only 5% live 5 years. As I cried in my corner Troy asked questions. The DR left and we were free to go. As we walked out of the hospital in a dazed silence I wondered if people somehow knew what was happening to us. Could they see it in our faces? How did we get to this place? How could this be happening to us?

senior pics and kindy registration

2008-04-03T07:48:00.000-07:00

Wow what a week! I finally had Aaron's senior pictures taken. he went kicking and screaming, insisting that he didn't need a haircut. But we cut his hair and got some great pics. The photographer was awesome. She even got a few character shots that really shows his personality. As we finish Aaron's senior year of high school we are getting Lydia ready to start Kindergarten in the fall. One in college and one in kindergarten. As my brother says, "Who does that , that is just crazy" Yeah it may be crazy but it is our reality. Lydia is so excited to go to school. When we visited the school for registration they let her visit with the kindergarten teachers in their rooms. One of the teachers asked if she was writing her name and if she used a capital letter for the first letter and smaller ones for the rest. She didn't say anything but came home and started making sure that she wrote her name properly. She is so ready for school and I am so ready for Aaron to go to college!

Everyone's doing it!

2008-03-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

Although the above sentence didn't work on my parents in this case it seems to be true. Everyone is bloging. So I'm going to try it too! Most of the circus is night skiing and the house is quiet for now. I'm getting ready for Easter dinner tomorrow and filling Easter eggs! -well I will be as soon as I get off the computer! We've already had two egg hunts ( friends house, community) really three is overkill but we have to do one for the grandparents to see! Off to fill eggs!